The Inquiry into the Inquiry into the Inquiry into the Inquiry, how it all happened:

How it all happened - the Inquiry into the Inquiry into the Inquiry into the Inquiry:

Guest writer ~  Peter Matthewson

Once upon a time in a country not far away at all, an obese German multi-millionaire, together with his very attractive wife and their children, a household of manservants, maidservants and security guards, a pair of giraffe statues, 18 Mercedes Benzes, Cadillacs, Rolls Royces and other fancy carriages, and lots of computers, wide screen TVs and pretty pictures,moved into a palace in the Prime Minister’s electorate. To celebrate his arrival the German spent $600,000 on a big firework show for the city. The Prime Minister did not notice the big bang. But the Mayor of the city did. The German even invited the Mayor on a helicopter ride to a party at his palace,and gave the Mayor a lovely little gift of two matching $25,000 cheques for his re-election campaign.  Being a polite man the Mayor telephoned the German the next day to say thank you. However the Mayor was supposed to tell important people about this but he forgot, after all he had so many obese German multi-millionaires giving him helicopter rides to parties in palaces and pairs of $25,000 cheques.

Despite all the pairs of $25,000 cheques he got from obese German multi-millionaires, the Mayor lost the election. But never fear, the next year he was elected to the country’s Parliament, after a top secret talk with the Prime Minister in a cafe with lots of photographers and TV cameras to show pictures to tell all the people to vote for him.  But the German had not forgotten about the pair of $25,000 cheques, and when life in the country had started to go badly for him, he told on the ex-Mayor and now Member of Parliament, or MP for short. So the Police had to conduct an inquiry about the then-Mayor not telling the important people about the $25,000 cheques, however they believed him that he had forgotten. Being a talented man, the German wrote and recorded a rap song about it. As far as I know neither the ex-Mayor nor the Prime Minister bought the record, but neither did I.

Yea, I have jumped ahead of myself.  It turns out that the German was suspected of being a bit of a naughty boy. Before he came to our country he had been accused of taking lots and lots and lots of movies and TV programmes and music, and naughty videos and computer programmes from people who owned them, and loading them up in a cloud. This was rather naughty,although he wasn’t plotting to blow up the White House. Nevertheless some people in America were very upset and got their super-duper Police force, the FBI, to start an inquiry about the German.

But the FBI needed help to carryout their inquiry in our country, so they asked for help from our country’s Police and super high tech secret spy agency, the GCSB. Lots of people in our country had only learned there was a GCSB a couple of years before, when a little posse led by a man with a very long beard had popped one of their big balloons at Waihopai, a place most people had never heard of before the balloon was popped.  Anyway the Police and the GCSB were very excited at the chance to help the FBI with such an important inquiry. That didn’t happen every day. The GCSB jumped at the chance to use their super spying and listening gear, which they usually keep hidden under the big balloons at Waihopai. They assisted the Police by listening to all the German’s phone calls, reading all his emails, and seeing where he went in the cloud. They did all this for a month, helping the Police to know when the German would be home so they could pop round to arrest him.

And so it came to pass one day not long after Christmas,a time when the Prime Minister and the Mayor are away on holiday so there isn’t much news on the TV, the Police and the FBI made their move. At 6:45 in the morning seventy six Police and Armed Offenders Squad officers swooped on the palace and arrested the German. They took him away to a big prison run by a multi-billion dollar multi-national corporation,where despite the profits made by the multi-billion dollar multi-national corporation he was given no soap, toothpaste or toilet paper. What’s more the Police seized his eighteen luxury carriages and carried them away on the backs of trucks, along with his computers, his pretty pictures, and lots and lots of money.

This started a lot of arguing in the Courts. The FBI wanted to drag the German back to America, so he could face charges in Court there for loading stuff up in the cloud. The German didn’t want to go. After a few weeks a kind judge let him out of the jail. And Helen the big boss High Court Judge said it was illegal for the Police to search the palace with a warrant saying go have a look around and take whatever you fancy,so she let him have all this stuff back. But other arguments in the Courts continue to this very day.

But here is where the story gets really interesting. Someone told the Prime Minister that it was actually illegal for the GCSB to spy on the country’s citizens and permanent residents,which the German was by that time. So the Prime Minister said sorry. But he decided he wanted to know what was really going on at the GCSB, under their big balloons at Waihopai, so he called up a very clever woman named Becs, and told her to go and conduct an inquiry into the inquiry.

Becs went away and actually read the GCSB Act and lo, verily it did say quite clearly that it was illegal for the GCSB to spy on the citizens and residents of the country. She also had a good look round the office and under the big balloons at Waihopai. To her horror, she found out that not only had the GCSB spied on the German illegally, they had also been illegally spying on 85 other citizens of the country. Becs also found that, despite the impressive looking big balloons at Waihopai (well actually they look like a pair of big boobs) the GCSB was really a Mickey Mouse outfit. So Becs finished her inquiry into the inquiry and wrote an 85 page report all about it, which she gave to the Prime Minister.

The Prime Minister was truly shocked that the GCSB had been spying on citizens illegally, so he said unto his closest advisers “Oops! Quick, we had better pass a law in the Parliament to make it legal!” Which he did. But I am jumping ahead of myself again. Being a believer in democracy and open and transparent government, the Prime Minister decided that he should let all the people see what was in Becs’ 85 page report, at a press conference where he could be photographed holding the report and smiling reassuringly. But first he gave it to his closest and most trusted Ministers and advisers to read, while he went on a trip to China where he would have lots of photo opportunities to smile with rich and important Chinese people.

But while the Prime Minister was away treachery was afoot. Somebody leaked a copy of Becs’ 85 page report to a news reporter named Andy. She was chuffed to get it, and although it took much of the afternoon to read it she wrote a headline story all about it on the front page of the capital city’s morning newspaper. There was no photograph of the Prime Minister holding the report and smiling reassuringly. There was no photograph of the Prime Minister smiling with the Chinese Premier.

When the Prime Minister got back from China he was not smiling. In fact he was very cross, and desperate to know who had stolen his thunder by leaking the report to Andy. So he called a man named Henry (just plain Henry, not Henry VIII or Henry IX) and commissioned him to conduct an inquiry into the inquiry into the inquiry. He told all his ministers and officials that they had to give Henry whatever he wanted for his inquiry into the inquiry into the inquiry. Henry set about his task with great enthusiasm. Some of the Prime Minister’s manservants were very eager to help Henry. With the benefit of modern technology they were able to give Henry a log of all Andy’s movements through the swipecard electronic doors all around the Parliament for the previous three months. Presumably this included all the times she went to the parliamentary ladies’ loo, which is of course where ladies go for a leak. They also gave Henry all Andy’s emails, and he found that in the two weeks prior to her story in the newspaper Andy had exchanged 86 emails with Peter D (not to be confused with your present storyteller), who was one of the Prime Minister’s trusted ministers. They had even kept the emails going while Peter D was away in America on holiday. Unlike the German he wanted to go to America.

But Henry had a problem. Before he could officially read Andy’s and Peter D’s emails, he had to get Peter D’s permission. But despite what the Prime Minister had said about his ministers giving Henry whatever he wanted, Peter D refused. He went on the TV and made a passionate speech about privacy, saying “the sole reason why I did not disclose the full content of my emails was because of my strong belief that citizens, be they constituents, members of the public or journalists, ought to be able to communicate with their elected representatives in confidence if they wish, and we tamper with that right at our collective peril.”  Because he would not let Henry have his emails he had to resign as a Minister. When Peter D found out later that the Prime Ministers manservants had given Henry his emails anyway, he was “shocked beyond belief” and “extremely concerned and angry about this gross, unauthorised breach of personal privacy”. Remember those passionate words for later in the story.

Since Peter D wouldn’t let Henry officially read his emails, his inquiry into the inquiry into the inquiry ground to a halt and he could only write a 24 page report. He gave his 24 page report to the Prime Minister, even though it officially told him nothing. Henry’s 24 page report that told the Prime Minister nothing cost the country’s taxpayers about $42,000, even though he hadn't paid the Prime Minister's manservants anything for Andy's swipecard logs and emails. However the Prime Minister has not said anything much about that, even though his party usually does not like spending government money.

However a very important man called the Speaker, who stands up and says "order" while the Members yell insults at each other across the Parliament, was justifiably concerned that the Prime Minister’s manservants had given Andy’s swipecard  movements and emails to Henry. So he referred the matter to the Privileges Committee, a group of very important MPs, to conduct an inquiry into the inquiry into the inquiry into the inquiry. This very week the Privileges Committee all sat round a big table and called Henry in so they could ask him lots of hard questions and tell him off. This was a bit harsh since Henry really had been only trying to do what the Prime Minister wanted and find out who stole his thunder by leaking Becs’ report. Nevertheless one of the members of the Privileges Committee was a minister named Judy. Judy is probably not one of the Prime Minister’s most trusted ministers because she wants his job. So Judy fixed her steely eyes on Henry and said “It was quite a chilling experience to realise that ministers’ and staff’s emails, and their right to privacy, were treated with what I would say was a contemptuous attitude”. Then that very afternoon she voted for the Prime Minister’s bill to make it legal for the GCSB to spy on the citizens of the country.

For indeed, while all these inquiries had been going on, the Prime Minister had introduced his bill to make the GCSB spying on the country’s citizens legal, into the Parliament. Many of the people didn’t like the Bill, because like Peter D and Judy they valued their privacy. They were scared about the power the Bill gave to the GCSB, and to the Prime Minister who is in charge of the GCSB. Lots of very respected and clever people who know what they are talking about spoke out against the bill, including the Law Society, the Human Rights Commission, the Privacy Commissioner, a famous constitutional lawyer and the former director of the GCSB. The obese German multi-millionaire spoke out about it too. However the Prime Minister said that they were all wrong and tried to distract the people by talking about fish.

And so the fateful day of the final vote in Parliament came. Even with the ex-Mayor and Judy and all his other ministers and party members voting for the Bill, the Prime Minister still needed one more vote to pass it into law. So who should he turn to but Peter D. The reader will remember the impassioned speech he made to the TV camera when he wouldn’t let Henry officially read his emails, and the even more impassioned speech he made when he found out Henry had got them anyway. But even though the reader will remember, Peter D seemed to have forgotten. And so he gave the Prime Minister the one vote he needed to pass the Bill into law. Perhaps Peter D and the Prime Minister will have a nice private chat in a cafe with lots of cameras next time there is an election.

And that is how it became legal for the GCSB to spy on the citizens of the country, with warrants just signed by the Prime Minister and the Commissioner of Security Warrants, a nice retired judge chap the Prime Minister calls up when he wants to commission a security warrant. And here is where the story must end, before the GCSB starts reading it.

John Banks prosecution referred to Solicitor General:

The private prosecution of John Banks is proceeding through the Court, and has just been referred to the Solicitor General.  On 7 November 2012, and again on 16 April 2013,  Judge I G Mill found that there was sufficient evidence of a prima facie case against the defendant.

The Police investigation into allegations of electoral fraud arising from the debacle commonly known as the Kim Dotcom Disaster found that the defendant had transmitted an election return false in a material particular (the subject donations were not anonymous, and Banks knew they were not) and had sufficient evidence to charge him summarily under Section 134(2) of the Local Electoral Act. However they were statutorily barred from doing so under the provisions of the Summary Proceedings Act that required an Information to be filed within six months of the alleged offence.

The Police made sure that their 'investigation' found that there was insufficient evidence that the defendant knew that the donations were not anonymous, and then claimed that they were unable to charge him under Section 134(1) of the  Act, as well as delaying the investigation beyond the statutory period according to Section 134(2). For these reasons no public prosecution was commenced by the Police, and it was left to Wellington businessman Graham McCready to instigate a private prosecution instead - this is the state of democracy in New Zealand - very sad indeed.

Judge Mill has now referred the matter to the Solicitor General to prosecute, at the request of the informant.


One witness who is likely to be called is Kim Dotcom, who has publicly said "there is no question in my mind that John Banks knew that I had donated $50,000 to his 2010 mayoral campaign."

The Police investigation found that Mr Banks had filed a false election return because the donations were not anonymous, but claimed that although local electoral laws were broken they didn't have enough evidence to prosecute.

The Police also found that there was insufficient evidence to prove that Mr Banks knew that the donations were not anonymous . Mr Banks has always insisted he has ''nothing to fear, nothing to hide'' over the donations scandal, despite Banks asking Police not to publicly release his statement on the Kim Dotcom donations and opposing publication of the entire file.

Earlier this month at the Wellington District Court, Judge I G Mill found that there was sufficient evidence to establish a prima facie case against the defendant, he said "access to the Courts for the purposes of private prosecutions is an important safeguard against the abuses of the executive's prosecutorial discretion ."

The private prosecution was begun by retired Wellington accountant Graham McCready, who said "now the evidential barrier has been overcome and the Court has ordered Mr Banks to appear, its up to the Solicitor General to consider the overwhelming public interest in taking this case to court".


The District Court Memorandum served on the Solicitor General on 29 April 2013, with the decision of Judge Mill:

John Banks formally charged with electoral fraud, summons issued:

John Archibald Banks has been summoned to the Court regarding his electoral returns, and donations from Kim Dotcom, etc. Judge Mill in the Wellington District Court (and transferred to Auckland District Court).  Wellington businessman Graham McCready, of the NZ Private Prosecution Service is taking a private prosecution against him:

Kim Dotcom v Sir Botox Banks

NZ's Got Talent - more musical ingenuity from Kim Dotcom:

Worth thinking about the fact that NZ police have been busying themselves with spending millions of dollars of taxpayers' money arresting Kim Dotcom for some nebulous crime not even against our laws apparently, and millions of dollars on the Urewera spying operation and trial fiasco, millions of dollars of our money flying around in helicopters looking for cannabis plants and hundreds of thousands on a corrupt campaign of harassment and false litigation against me (and goodness knows how many others), while deliberately and wilfully ignoring hundreds of child abuse allegations, serious violence, fraud, and other major crime.

The Clown Law Office knew that the Court Orders they were about to use to seize all Kim Dotcom's assets were unlawful on the morning of the raid, and decided to go ahead with it anyway.

Solicitor General David Collins and his deputy Cameron Mander also knew the Order was unlawful, and went along with the decision to proceed using the unlawful Orders, after Collins was told the mistake "didn't alter the lawful nature of the Orders". The advice was wrong, Justice Judith Potter ruled the restraining order "null and void" and having "no legal effect".

The effect of the unlawful order was that Dotcom was prevented from defending the unlawfully laid charges of heading an international conspiracy of internet piracy (copyright infringement) in Court.

Newly obtained documents from the court file show Crown prosecutor Anne Toohey realised on the day of the raid that they were meant to give notice.

Crown Law criminal team leader Madeleine Laracy, in an affidavit to the court, said: "This issue had been overlooked prior to that point."

She said she talked about the realisation with Dr Collins and his deputy, Cameron Mander, and the decision was made to forge ahead with the seizure.

Ms Laracy said it was decided Crown Law would tell Dotcom's lawyers the restraining notice was only temporary until there was a court hearing.

She said US authorities then sent a second request to the Crown Law Office to have more of Dotcom's belongings seized.

Ms Toohey was on the verge of having a fresh hearing over the new restraining order, at which time the error over the original order would have been raised.

Ms Laracy said Mr Mander realised the error was more serious and ordered the court be alerted.

Ten days after the raid, the court was told and a court process was allowed to give Dotcom the chance to object.

Justice Potter said Dotcom could sue over Crown Law's mistake. Dotcom has been given $20,000 a month to live on.

Meanwhile, Hollywood studios sought to enter into commercial deals with the Kim Dotcom's Megaupload site, evidence due to be used in his defence reveals. The defence team has emails from executives at Disney, Fox, Turner Broadcasting and Warner Brothers - among those who complained loudest about copyright infringements - seeking commercial agreements with Megaupload.

They include offers to share content and to join advertising deals, and show studios attempting to strike deals.

A Warner Bros staff member sought an automated upload service, with an email asking: "We would like to upload our content all at once instead of one video at a time."

The company's former digital marketing co-ordinator Shelina Sayani offered "opportunities to syndicate our exciting entertainment content".

For now, however, Dotcom is mainly concerned with taking the criminal indictment apart. He is confident that he and his legal team will succeed in this and promises fireworks when the complete motion is published.

“The MPAA / White House corruption has weakened US technology leadership. Internet businesses, hosting, cloud, payment processors, ad networks, etc. are going to avoid the US,” Dotcom told TorrentFreak.

“There is an opportunity for liberal countries to welcome those businesses with better laws,” he predicts. “The loss of IT business & jobs in the US will substantially outweigh the inflated losses claimed by the MPAA & their billionaire club.” That's funny, I thought New Zealand was supposed to be welcoming exactly these very kinds of business opportunities, not illegally raiding and arresting the CEO. We have ex Justice Ministers and all sorts in Court regularly regarding all the failed finance companies in this country, but the NZ police are wasting tax payer's money on what appears to be a corrupt campaign of legal harassment on the instructions of the FBI and Warner Brothers. It wasn't that long ago that John Key changed the law of NZ to accommodate Warner Brothers . . . what a funny coincidence . . . looks like we need some Transparency into these matters!

“We did nothing wrong. Watch out for our first motion in response to the MPAA-sponsored Department of Justice indictment. It will be enlightening and maybe entertaining,” Dotcom concludes.

220 people lost their jobs when Megaupload was shut down.

A failed case by the US would leave the taxpayer exposed. Police commissioner Peter Marshall last week gave the High Court formal notice it would be the focus of any liability case by Dotcom if he were to sue.

And because of the incompetence of the NZ authorities, the US Judge overseeing the matter has said: "I frankly don't know that we are ever gong to have a trial in this matter." If that happens the NZ taxpayer will most certainly be held liable by the incompetence of our police and the Clown Law Office, and all involved in this sad affair. Now we know why Bradley Ambrose's recording of John Banks and John Key was of such interest to some people, (Banks's affair with Dotcom was no secret on the Auckland social scene by all accounts,) - and how much taxpayer's money was wasted by the police on that matter - 'investigating' a false complaint and a waste of police time by John Key? The Attorney General has now dropped all plans to pursue Ambrose for costs.