"We have maintained a silence closely resembling stupidity" - Neil Roberts

Until we have legislation adopted into law to ensure fiduciary accountability and transparency in public affairs we will continue to have human rights breached because the existing crown immunity and lack of any independent oversight invites corruption to flourish.


"Question authority, and think for yourself" - Timothy Leary


"We have maintained a silence closely resembling stupidity" - Neil Roberts


"Information is the currency of democracy" - Thomas Jefferson


‎"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever does." - Margaret Mead

"The truth is like a lion, you don't have to defend it. Let it loose, it will defend itself."

"I = m c 2 [squared] where "I" am information" - Timothy Leary

"Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen

"The internet is a TV that watches you"

Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts

Monday, June 30, 2014

The Seasonal Employment Scheme robbing Kiwis of jobs?

Like many New Zealanders I've worked on vineyards and in orchards and done other seasonal work, manual labour, and been grateful for the job and the ability to earn a living.  Like all my mates on the orchards and vineyards I was reliable, respectful, loyal, and hard working.  Many of us worked on the same orchard or vineyard or farm year after year doing seasonal work, and had been valued employees.  After being bullied out of my job at the South End School after the extraordinary orchestrated litany of lies I worked at JRs orchard in Greytown for a couple of seasons picking apples.

The following season we all traveled to Greytown to reapply for our jobs , and waited to hear from JRs.  We all received a phone call saying thanks but no thanks, because JR had done a deal with the local National Party MP to import labour because there was way more profit for JR (and other employers) in doing that and he no doubt promised a big 'donation' to John Hayes MP.  Hayes's statements are outrageous!  WINZ didn't bus people out there we got the bus or car pooled if we didn't have a car, and people didn't prefer to sit watching TV in their homes on the dole, they preferred to have a job!

The only auditing or review of the advisability of this scheme seems to be framed to address only the benefits of the imported workers, rather than the social costs, the effect of this scheme on our local communities, or the national economy. 

Like the overwhelming number of the people I worked with on the orchard I am now reliant on a tax payer funded benefit, depressed about not only being unemployed and angry at the blatant lies from the 'Honourable' Member of Parliament (and his predecessor).

There is a strong sense of injustice felt by many people, and added to this are other social problems caused by lack of proper governance and rampant corruption and incompetence by public officials, including high and rising suicide rates and a corrupt Police force which has been found to have thrown hundreds of child abuse files in the bin and deliberately lied about it, while facilitating and concealing the problems and covering up for the offenders.

Both Labour and National plan on increasing the numbers of seasonal workers able to be recruited from overseas in spite of the effect on our local economies - these people don't spend their money in our communities, they hardly even go to the supermarket (allowed to bring food in if it's declared, and do), they take it home to their own communities - JR should go and set up orchards in the Solomons and Vanuatu, it's not rocket surgery, but he's only interested in maximising his profit.

It's reported in June that there are 8000 workers let in to work but I'd bet the number actually working here is much higher.  I'm all for supporting our neighbours in the Pacific, but who is really benefiting from this, and what's the real cost?


Kelvyn Alp - how a REAL politician gets results from corrupt public servants:

After five years Kelvyn Alp, founder of the OURNZ Party has been the only politician in New Zealand to get any results from the ongoing complaints to the Ombudsmen the Board of Trustees of the South End School in Carterton and others, about the blatant bullying, and slanderous and defamatory allegations being made by the Board and others associated with the school and the community, previously complained of by a number of senior lawyers and referred to by them as "politically motivated corruption", against former members of staff who made a huge contribution to the school, not only feeding the kids, but teaching and supporting the students to grow their own kai, prepare it, preserve it, trade it, as well as a number of other important life skills, including an extremely successful suicide prevention program.

The Privacy Commissioner's Office and Dawn Swan in particular have been involved in the conspiracy to pervert the course of justice regarding this matter.  After initially attempting to resolve the matter with the Board, in accordance with appropriate policies and procedures, I complained to the Office of the Privacy Commissioner after I received this letter from the Board of Trustees of the South End School, which contains the false allegation that I had been recently charged by Police with an offence involving a child - I have never been charged with any offence involving a child in my life and I told the Deputy Principal of the South End School several weeks prior to receiving this astounding letter:

Dawn Swan repeatedly lied about the facts regarding the matter, and refused to investigate the matter at all, instead conjuring up a fictional version of events in her own mind including the preposterous allegation that I was the one who had told the Board the slanderous and defamatory allegations.  Dawn Swan maintained this lie in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, and so did the Board of Trustees.

Thanks to the commitment and integrity of Kelvyn Alp the Ombudsmen were forced to reopen the investigation into these complaints, and forced to admit the truth, which has now opened a much larger can of worms, revealing clear and indisputable evidence that Kelvyn Alp and I were right all along - and not delusional at all - the evidence proves indisputably that there has been a conspiracy to pervert the course of justice regarding these matters which has involved tax payer corruption at the highest levels, including former Chief Ombudsman Beverly Wakem, who repeatedly refused to investigate the claims against Dawn Swan and the Office of the Privacy Commissioner despite all the evidence of blatant corruption in the manner in which Swan repeatedly claimed that I was the source of the allegations and that the school had sought or received no information from Police - which was a blatant lie as Kelvyn Alp pointed out.

Thanks to the perseverance and professionalism of Kelvyn Alp I finally received this pathetic excuse for an 'apology' from the Board of Trustees:



This rude letter is signed by none other than Elaine Scully, school secretary and Chief Witch Hunter.  It should be signed by the Chairman of the Board of Trustees, Logan Bathurst, Elaine Scully should have been sacked after she was forced to apologise for calling a young Maori student a "lying little bitch" several years ago.

Elaine Scully owes me several other apologies too, and they are long overdue.

For a start she owes me an apology for wasting Police time and making a false complaint to Police regarding her delusional allegations that I "stole" correspondence regarding the bullying and unlawful sacking of Wayne Rogers, a former groundsman at the South End School, from the letterbox of former Board member Emily Brown.  I did no such thing - I was handed the letters by the parent of a child who was in the same class as one of Emily Brown's four children, and both children have the same first name.  Emily Brown gave the letters to the wrong child, and the child's mother (and the child, if necessary) will confirm this in sworn evidence in a Court when the time comes.

On 1 May 2011 I sent the following email to the Statutory Manager appointed by the Ministry of Education, who had identified that the Board was incompetent and appointed the Statutory Manager:
Hi Ken,


I understand that you are the Statutory Manager appointed to the South End School, and have been asked to write to you regarding issues around the management and administration of the school.

I was recently handed correspondence between the school and Wayne Rogers, regarding the termination of his employment at the school, which seems to mirror the way I was treated (attached).  I've also been contacted by a number of people who have also complained about the school, including the family of a young girl who was called a "lying little bitch" - as in "You're nothing but a lying little bitch" by Elaine Scully, who is also responsible for this confidential correspondence ending up in my hands and the hands of a number of other people.  Many people said that Mrs Scully, Mr O'Leary, Ms Powell and other staff and members of the Board of Trustees have been spreading rumours throughout the community that I am a child abuser, and making similar allegations about Wayne Rogers.

I received a letter from the Board of Trustees which is attached.  Also attached is a note of thanks I received at the end of the year (2008).  The last paragraph of the letter to me, and the thank you note, make a mockery of the school's current position on the matter, and of the Court proceedings brought against me by Rod O'Leary and the former groundsman Thomas Smith.

I've also received copies of correspondence between the school and the Armstrong family about me, which frankly disgust me because they contain nasty and untrue accusations.  Furthermore, Board of Trustees member Emily Brown came to the Armstrong's home and made a number of derogatory statements about me and about how Emily had contacted Police and mental health authorities about me after I politely requested that she arrange a meeting between and the Board about this correspondence I had received containing the untrue allegation that I was a danger to the children.  Emily Brown is an adulterous liar, who has acknowledged (and boasted about) the fact that she was having it off with George Smith while still married to and living with her husband.  Emily's mother and brother committed suicide, and it disgusts many people in the community that she is going around to homes like the Armstrongs, spreading her nasty spiteful UNTRUE rumours, and causing hatred and division in the community.  She claimed to be representing the Board on this visit, which disgusted us even more.  She should resign from the Board immediately, her adultery and lies disgusts decent people in the community.  

I request the immediate return of everything I brought to the school, including the large sign, tools, hoses, plants, etc.

I request that the school write immediately to [name deleted to protect privacy] and apologise to him for distributing his correspondence and breaching his privacy.  He deserves the job as groundsman for all his voluntary work for the school!  The way the Board treats volunteers is disgraceful!

I request that you inform me immediately: 
(1) specifically what information (referred to in the correspondence) the school received about me that led them to believe I was (or "could have been") a danger to the children, and 
(2) from whom specifically the Board (or O'Leary) received this information.

The correspondence to the Armstrongs is outrageous, the two letters to them clearly contain allegations that I am a danger to the kids, O'Leary knows perfectly well that I never told him any such thing, and that there was no meeting until AFTER I received the letter sacking me, ex Deputy Principal Dallas Powell knows this too. They know perfectly well that the local corrupt police officer told him the lies about me being charged, not me, as he is not dishonestly inferring!  The visit to the Armstrong's by Emily Brown was equally outrageous and she should resign immediately because of that alone - how dare she go around the community breaching my privacy and spreading lies like this!!!?  How unprofessional!  I requested a meeting with the Board!

I request an immediate meeting with the Board to discuss the letter which I received from Gavin Kennedy. The last paragraph promises me my job back if I am "acquitted of the charges withdrawn" - there never were any charges as everyone knows, and I want my job back without further delay please.

I understand you were appointed on 1 October 2010.  How is it then that Wayne Rogers was hired and fired by Rod O'Leary and the Board if you were specifically appointed to manage employment issues (among other things)?

I look forward to your urgent response.
Kate Raue

Let's Get Growing NZ
Transparency in New Zealand
Shortly afterwards I received this email from Elaine Scully - further evidence of her incompetence and of the dishonesty of the Board and the other parties, the Privacy Commissioner, Ombudsmen, etc, who all denied any information about me existed - more and more is being revealed all the time while they continue to blatantly lie:
Hi Ken
We have had the attached email in from Kate. 


I spoke with Emily yesterday to try and ascertain how she got the attached letters.  Emily is sure she has stolen them from her letterbox.  Unfortunately for us, Emily has admitted that she often doesn’t clear her letterbox (which is on the main street) for days at a time. 

I have not responsible for this info getting into Kate’s hands as she states.  I phone Emily or leave a message on her answerphone every time I drop mail into her letterbox.  The only other way I give her board info is to hand it to her son Zac and ask him to take it home (this is usually non important info).

We have phoned the Police and asked them to come down to track this for us.

Any advice?  Do you want me to inform all the board members about what is happening?  Ray [Ray Craig, former Chairman of the Board of Trustees] was in the office this morning so I have informed him.

Cheers
Elaine.
I emailed Scully on the 3rd March 2011 asking for an apology and I'm still waiting.  She gave the letters to another Zac by mistake.  This is absolutely typical of the dysfunction, bullying, incompetence and corruption of the governance and the Board of Trustees of the South End School, the ministry of Education, the ERO, the Privacy Commissioner, the Ombudsmen and the corrupt New Zealand Police!

In an interesting coincidence, on the 25th November 2013 the local 'news' paper, the Wairarapa Times-Age, who are in the business of spreading politically biased happy clappy 'news' for all their mates and slandering everyone else, printed a 'story' titled "Big day for fixit man Super Mario, caretaker at South End School"  - the author of this 'report' is quoted as being none other than Elaine Scully.  Scully is not a journalist, and this isn't news - unlike the matters involving myself and Mr Rogers.  The article, which featured a photo of Mario Geremia (a very 'good friend' of Mrs Scully) wearing a silly hat, states:
"South End School's caretaker Mario Geremia celebrated his birthday at school this year and was made guest of honour at morning tea by the staff.  His hat reads "Super Mario" as there is nothing he can't do and he has our school looking perfect all the time.  He can construct and build, is a brilliant photographer, keeps the grounds immaculate and can repair anything.  We are truly blessed to have him here as a staff member.  The hat was presented to him by the staff and the children all sang happy birthday to him when they saw him in the playground on the day of his birthday.  Photo supplied."
And what is particularly disturbing and 'coincidental' about this is that the editor of the Wairarapa Times-Age, a little weasel of a man called Andrew Bonnallack, has steadfastly refused to report on Kelvyn Alp's demand for the Ombudsmen to reopen the inquiry and the subsequent overturning of former Chief Ombudsman Beverley Wakem's decision, or the revelation that I was right all along about the source of the slanderous defamatory lies that have done so much damage to my reputation and employment prospects for the last six years or more, or the recent pathetic excuse for an apology - while the WTA prints propaganda on behalf of Chief Witch Hunter and Gossip Spreader Elaine Scully instead!

Even more disturbing is that a man called Geoffrey Ball aka Godfrey Ball was recently charged with a number of sexual assault charges involving young and vulnerable victims and Police had stated that more victims were coming forward as a result of publicity regarding the complaints.  On 7th August 2014 Godrey/Geoff Ball committed suicide according to news reports.  His death notice, which was published in the Wairarapa Times-Age on 13th August 2014, states that he was the friend of one "Mario Geremia".

A growing number of other politicians are choosing to ignore what's really going on in our schools and government organisations like the Privacy Commissioner's Office, the Ombudsmen, IPCA etc, luckily, Kelvyn Alp is a man of action, not idle rhetoric, he sorts things out and gets results, gets the truth, instead of just fobbing people off like so many others.

Here's a link to the latest disgraceful response from the Office of the Ombudsmen - seem to have a problem embedding it . . .



This is an ongoing litany of lies, I never took a child to a supermarket without permission and both the school and the Police have repeatedly denied that they shared any information about me - repeatedly stating that no such information existed - so where is this information about this latest pack of lies?  - Where is the information that the school and the Police have been denying the existence of all this time??? 

Where is ANY information about this "information sharing" - this little gossip session - this witch hunt!  WHICH Police officers took it upon themselves to call public meetings to slander and defame me for criminal and political purposes?

The Board of Trustees claim that the Minutes of the Board meeting(s) at which the matter was discussed and the decision to send the letter was made "have been destroyed" - that's called "destroying evidence for the purpose of perverting the course of justice"!

And what of corrupt Privacy Commission investigator Dawn Swan - who invented the cock and bull story that it was ME who told the school the nonsense that Police had recently charged me with an offence involving a child?  Swan continues to collect her big fat paycheck to this very day, while she continues to refuse to acknowledge that I didn't tell anyone I'd been charged with an offence involving a child, let alone apologise for it!

And what of Dame Beverley Wakem, former Chief Ombudsman, who corruptly signed off on the previous "investigation" - cover up - of my complaint into these matters - New Zealanders should not be forced to seek the assistance of Kelvyn Alp and he should not have to bother himself prodding corrupt public officials to do their jobs while so called elected members of parliament do NOTHING!

There is evidence that three independent witnesses rang Police because I was the victim of a violent home invasion on 11th February 2009 and that was the only "incident" that occurred - Constable Peter Cletus Cunningham has a long and well documented history of LYING and CORRUPTION and he deliberately fabricated a cock and bull story about a non existent "incident" while refusing to charge the offenders for a serious, unprovoked, violent attack by a pair of lying convicted benefit fraudsters!

We have requested an extension of time to respond to this provisional opinion because it is clear that there are glaring discrepancies between the information that was previously provided and these new claims and if the claims in this letter are true - WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE OF IT?

Friday, September 20, 2013

Rob Harris latest scam raises ethics concerns at Universities

Rob Harris stood as a candidate in the local body elections in Carterton, and approached me for support.

I found him to be a devious and untrustworthy man, with his own agenda, which focuses on filling his own pockets and those of his mates by ripping off vulnerable people and scamming the system any way he can, like many of the other candidates.

While the local propaganda publication which passes for a "news" paper refused to publish anything questionable about its favorite candidates and continues to slander me and other worthwhile candidates, a Massey University journalist, Lisa McCauley, reported a more accurate report about Mr Harris, which has since been erased from the internet and made inaccessible, which is why Kiwis who care must copy and keep information and share it constructively regardless of threats about copyright from the media.  I am sharing this report because it is in the public interest that people know who they are voting for
:


Thursday, July 25, 2013

Political prostitution - Ariana Paretutanganui-Tamati's devious, deceitful agenda exposed:



Pictured below is the 'work' of a nasty woman called Ariana Paretututanganui -Tamati - a devious, conniving, deceitful, liar, who is attempting to infiltrate and undermine the Wellington protest against the GCSB Bill and hijack it for her own personal agenda with the help of Max Dillon Coyle.

She has undermined and sabotaged all the efforts of the people who HAVE been organising the Wellington protest against the GCSB Bill this Saturday, while she's been doing nothing but wasting time and causing trouble - here's the latest evidence of her work - she and her low life mates have been reporting this perfectly innocuous post on the Wellington Event page (at the link above) in a co-ordinated, targeted attack in order to achieve the post being removed and me blocked from facebook - the post being the order of ceremonies for the Wellington event - which I am the Host of!

Who is behind this really - who is incentivising her to try and derail our peaceful protest with her shady mates talking about blocking roads and other violent action, and grandstanding for her own political agenda.  Even her mate Pete George couldn't stand it.

She previously deleted all the files on the organisers page - the list of speakers, the order of ceremonies, the fliers, the list of events, the outline of the skit, etc, she's lied and claimed other people's work as her own - she's a prize cow.  She's standing for the Mana party apparently - come along on Saturday and listen to her make a fool of herself. 


In this screenshot, you can see that I am the host of the event, but I now cannot post to facebook for 24 hours, after this little piece of scum called Ariana Paretutanganui-Tamati made false and malicious complaints - she's apparently representing the Mana party - I suggest they UP THEIR GAME!  - AND GET RID OF NASTY LITTLE TROUBLEMAKERS LIKE HER and find some DECENT candidates!

Then, she made the mistake of writing a huge diatribe for all the world to see - accusing me of being some lady in Napier - who came on and went nuts - and raving on about Ariana's mate, delusional fraudster Cherie Sweeney -Ariana Paretutanganui-Tamati couldn't apologise quick enough and admit her complete idiocy in accusing me of "being Fera Divinci on facebook"  - Regarding her claims that Cherie has complained about me - anyone with enough money to waste can pay a lawyer to write utter nonsense like this.  No Court has ever given it a file number I'll bet!  No wonder this country's in the state it's in - with "politicians" like Ariana Paretutanganui-Tamati "in charge of" the controlled opposition.


While I was blocked from Facebook and unable to communicate with the attendees of the protest I was hosting, thanks to Ariana, Max Dillon Coyle and other joint admins of the event page failed to remove a number of offensive posts such as the one above, for hours, and in some case days.

This picture shows that I can't even respond to questions from other organisers directed to me!

Ariana has SABOTAGED this protest and should be booted out of politics entirely!  She's nothing but a lying little attention seeker without any brains!  Here's how the facebook page is now being run - people now too scared to bring their kids because of Ariana and her gang mates and this outrageous and disgusting posting all over the page of offensive and violent rubbish from a bunch of gang members and half witted attention seeking "politicians" and self appointed "activists" - they're NOT activists - they are a bunch of half witted attention seekers!

Here's more evidence of Ariana's "extensive protesting experience" - shameless self promotion!  No support - apart from a few naive 'journalists'!

Speaking of journalists, I received an email from Andrea Vance, one of the speakers I invited, she'll be there on Saturday if she can make it, hopefully we can prevent Ms Ariana PT derailing it.


So, after posting her non stop nonsense, which culminated in an extraordinary rant in which she tells the world that I am "Fera DiVinci on facebook" and then has to admit that's it's a lie, after the real Fera DiVinci fronted up about it - on top of all the evidence of her malicious complaints to facebook from her and her Mana party mates, and slanderous lies about me, Max Dillon Coyle - who works for APN, selling 'news'papers, took the manipulative action of appointing Ariana P-T 'host' of the facebook event - seven days after the event - as the screenshot below shows! 

This gave her access to delete documents on the facebook page - which she had repeatedly done in an effort to sabotage the organisers of the event, and deleted the entire page a few days later to get rid of the evidence.  Why would Max Dillon Coyle appoint a 'politician' like her 'host' of the event after that?  I and the rest of the organising team organised and hosted the event, and changing this apparently minor detail is actually a very devious action. 

What's his agenda, and what's the agenda behind some of these little facebook groups, etc?  Max Dillon Coyle sells papers for APN - the tail's wagging the dog - she didn't 'host' the event - she HIJACKED it!  The date of this screenshot shows no 'likes', ten days later.  Speaks for itself really.


The NBR reported that there's an alarming amount of bribery in NZ.  Marketing and journalism are areas which are particularly prone to bribery and 'incentivism', particularly when you add politics.

Max Dillon Coyle has a track record of political manipulation as this report in the Waikato Times shows.  He's clearly a master media manipulator - anything to sell papers - ask Max Dillon Coyle why he DID make her host of the event a week after it was held!  More on Max here.


Update on the protest and subsequent events at this link.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Politics 101:

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
... You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM 

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on  one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You need to milk them but decide to watch the football instead.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive

A ZAMBIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

Photo: SOCIALISM
 You have 2 cows.
 You give one to your neighbour

 COMMUNISM
 ... You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both and gives you some milk

 FASCISM
 You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both and sells you some milk

 NAZISM
 You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both and shoots you

 BUREAUCRATISM
 You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away

 TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
 You have two cows.
 You sell one and buy a bull.
 Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
 You sell them and retire on the income

 ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM You have two cows.
 You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
 of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
 debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
 four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
 The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
 a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
 sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
 The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
 one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
 leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
 The public then buys your bull.

 SURREALISM
 You have two giraffes.
 The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

 AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
 Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

 A GREEK CORPORATION
 You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking
 sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese
 unit and packing sheds.
 You still only have two cows.

 A FRENCH CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
 want three cows.

 AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You need to milk them but decide to watch the football instead.

 A JAPANESE CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
 and produce twenty times the milk.
 You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
 market it worldwide.

 A SWISS CORPORATION
 You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
 You charge the owners for storing them.

 A CHINESE CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You have 300 people milking them.
 You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
 You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

 AN INDIAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You worship them.

 A BRITISH CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 Both are mad.

 AN IRAQI CORPORATION
 Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
 You tell them that you have none.
 No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your
 country.
 You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

 AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 Business seems pretty good.
 You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

 A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 The one on the left looks very attractive

 A ZAMBIAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows,
 but you don't know where they are.
 You decide to have lunch.





SOCIALISM
 You have 2 cows.
 You give one to your neighbour

 COMMUNISM
 ... You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both and gives you some milk

 FASCISM
 You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both and sells you some milk

 NAZISM
 You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both and shoots you

 BUREAUCRATISM
 You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away

 TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
 You have two cows.
 You sell one and buy a bull.
 Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
 You sell them and retire on the income

 ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM You have two cows.
 You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
 of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
 debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
 four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
 The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
 a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
 sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
 The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
 one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
 leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
 The public then buys your bull.

 SURREALISM
 You have two giraffes.
 The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

 AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
 Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

 A GREEK CORPORATION
 You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking
 sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese
 unit and packing sheds.
 You still only have two cows.

 A FRENCH CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
 want three cows.

 AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You need to milk them but decide to watch the football instead.

 A JAPANESE CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
 and produce twenty times the milk.
 You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
 market it worldwide.

 A SWISS CORPORATION
 You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
 You charge the owners for storing them.

 A CHINESE CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You have 300 people milking them.
 You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
 You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

 AN INDIAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 You worship them.

 A BRITISH CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 Both are mad.

 AN IRAQI CORPORATION
 Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
 You tell them that you have none.
 No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your
 country.
 You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

 AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 Business seems pretty good.
 You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

 A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
 You have two cows.
 The one on the left looks very attractive

 A ZAMBIAN CORPORATION
 You have two cows,
 but you don't know where they are.
 You decide to have lunch.